Of course being a Muslim, I have been to many Muslim weddings, mainly ones within the family. They have been a mixture of those from various Sunni sects and the Jafria sect.
Those who have not attended weddings of another sect, besides the one they follow, usually assume that they are different from one another. They will be surprised to know all Islamic weddings are meant to be the same and any differences are just add-ons that each sect have solidified over the years to make it seem like the norm. The same goes for divorce. However, this is not the time to talk about Islamic divorces. That is for another day, another article.
At all of these weddings, the nikkah has always been a taboo topic which is not discussed in front of others, especially the groom and bride. It is usually discussed discretely between the parents of both families, primarily the men, and then presented to the official conducting the marriage to use it as a document to get the names right and sign his name on the contract too. There are no terms discussed on the contract and in same countries, it is the norm that women are not given the right of divorce unless asked for.
Nikkah in Arabic literally means marriage contract. (https://www.al-islam.org/ask/i-need-to-know-what-is-the-meaning-of-nikah-in-islam)
It is usually a standard form in Muslim countries, for legal reasons, to be used as the main legal document registered. In non-Muslim countries, it is an unofficial contract, and then a separate process is required to register the marriage legally.
The mahr which provides women with financial security is also down-played and given nominal value so as to not look too greedy or appease the groom’s side. Mahr is the amount of money that is stated in the marriage contract that the groom has to give to the bride as dower. The aim behind this is that should something happen to the marriage, the husband, etc. the wife has the financial means to support herself (or her kids). There is a lot more rights a woman has should she be divorced regarding the family home she lives in, how she will support herself etc. Again, that is for another article.
The contract itself is not a pretty document. It looks very official looking. In my opinion, you can tell it was made by men…for men.
Canadian Council of Muslim Women – Muslim Marriage Contract Kit
When I was working with the Canadian Council of Muslim Women (CCMW) one of the first documents I came across was the Muslim Marriage Contract Kit.
CCMW created this kit so that couples can use it to define the terms of their own marriage rather than other family members. In Islam, the law says that contracts are used to define all relationships and protect rights of those who enter into the contract together. Two people would not sign a business contract without agreeing on the terms together to be mutually beneficial. The same goes for the most important contract of one’s life. The contract that two people enter into for the rest of their lives.
I fell in love with this kit as soon as I saw it.I like it because it gives the onus on the couple to learn about their rights and the process. It’s a big change from being told what to do and having no say.
In non-Muslim countries, many Islamic preachers will create their own nikkah forms because there is nothing universal to use. Until date, I have never seen anything as pretty as this and frame worthy. And if there is something out there that is better looking, please send me an email info@muslimwomensresources.com so I can feature it here.
This kit suggests that to ensure equality between a couple in case of a divorce. One of the benefits of the kit is that it does not prescribe how the nikkah contract should be drafted but more of a guide to allow for customisation based on what the bride and groom want.
Muslim countries will not allow the use of the actual contract provided in the kit but it can be used to guide a couple to request rights and clauses in the existing forms created by governmental institutions. In non-Muslim countries, it can be used as a guide or the actual contract but for the purposes of a religious marriage and not a civil one.
The bride and groom always have to ensure that they are not only getting married the religious way but also the doing a civil ceremony/ contract/ application based on the laws of where they live to ensure civil rights are protected for each party.
Sample Marriage Contract
The sample marriage contract that comes with the kit has the following headings:
Part One: Declarations relating to marriage
- Declaration that we are free to marry
- Declaration of monogamy
- Declaration of type of marriage
- Declaration of mahr – amount
- Declaration of mahr – time of payment
- Declaration of obedience
- Declaration of no force or violence
- Declaration about education and work
- Declaration about household responsibilities
Part Two: Declarations relating to religious divorce
- Declaration of seeking reconciliation before divorce
- Declaration of divorce in writing
- Declaration of following the practice (Sunnah) of the Prophet, peace be upon him
- Declaration about where we will get a civil divorce
- Declaration about ending a marriage subsisting in another jurisdiction
Part Three: Granting power of divorce to the wife
How to Use the Sample Marriage Contract
- Use the contract as it is, sign parts of it and cross out others, or write your own version
- Use two copies, one you each spouse
- Each spouse should consult their own lawyer
- When the contracts are finalised, both copies should be signed, dated and formally witnessed
- Both copies have to be notarised or commissioned.
- Keep your contact in a safe place
There are some caveats to the kit. The civil examples provided in the document are based on the law in Ontario, Canada. Civil law may be different in other parts of the world and so it is upon the couple getting married to ensure they are aware of what those laws are.
Another caveat is that this kit does not offer legal advice but rather a guide for an Islamic religious marriage. The kit uses traditional Arabic books of the five main Islamic law schools to develop the sample marriage contract. In my view, the basics are the same for any sect that one belongs to. Utterances, customs, and different traditional practices are people-made in my opinion.
Last but not the least, before you sign anything in Muslim law or in civil law, talk to a lawyer…and not a preacher, Imam or Maulana.
If you are interested in exploring this kit further, you can click here and download it or order it from the Canadian Council of Muslim Women’s website.